Nobody gets to run a background check on the block before they sign. Housewarming candles beat another set of dish towels, and this one says what the whole party is thinking: "Hope Your New Neighbors Aren't Serial Killers."

Hand poured from 100% natural soy wax in a 13.5 oz jar with 60+ hours of Toasted Marshmallow. Closing day, the housewarming, the first dinner eaten off a moving crate: this is the one.

Why You'll Love It

"Hope Your New Neighbors Aren't Serial Killers" — the housewarming toast, printed
100% natural soy wax — a clean, even burn with no petroleum wax
Phthalate free and non-toxic — vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO
Toasted Marshmallow — toasted sugar, vanilla and amber, warm without being cloying
60+ hour burn time from a 13.5 oz jar
Kraft label that suits a house still deciding what its style is
Hand poured in small batches in Minnetonka, Minnesota

Perfect Gift For

New homeowners, first-time buyers, closing day, housewarmings, apartment upgrades, moving-in weekend, the friend who bought a fixer-upper, and anyone whose new street looks a little too quiet at night.

Product Details

Material: Natural Soy Wax, Essential and Premium Fragrance Oils, Cotton Wick, Reusable Jar
Size: 13.5 oz Jar | 3.5 x 3.5 x 4" 60+ Hours
Attributes: Phthalate Free, Non-Toxic, Cruelty Free, Vegan, Non-GMO
Origin: Hand Poured in Minnetonka, MN, Made in USA
Care: Trim the wick to 1/4" before each burn
Item: S-1486-5

Scent

5. Toasted Marshmallow - Toasted Marshmallow, Vanilla, Amber

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is a joke gift risky for a housewarming you were invited to?
A: A funny candle is the safe end of joke gifting — it fits any room, needs to match nothing, and still burns for 60+ hours after the laugh. This one is a 13.5 oz jar.

Q: Are these candles made with phthalate free fragrance oils?
A: Yes. Every Cedar Crate candle uses phthalate-free essential and premium fragrance oils in natural soy wax, with a cotton wick — vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO.

Q: Does Toasted Marshmallow fill a whole room?
A: Yes. The cotton wick and 13.5 oz melt pool carry toasted sugar, vanilla and amber across an open living room without turning heavy.

Q: Is the serial killer joke too dark for a housewarming?
A: It reads as a joke about not knowing the block yet, which is a feeling every new homeowner has had. If the room laughs at true crime podcasts, it will land.

Q: What do you bring to a housewarming party besides wine?
A: A candle is the standard answer because it works in any house and does not need a vase or a fridge. Pick one with a line worth reading out loud and it beats a bottle.

Q: How do I get an even melt pool the first time I light it?
A: Burn it for two to three hours on the first light, until the melted wax reaches the edge of the glass. Trim the wick to 1/4" before every burn after that.