Housewarming Candles - Hope Your Neighbors Aren't Assholes

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The moving truck is gone and the new people are unpacking. Whether that turns out to be good news is entirely out of your hands, which is the whole point of "Hope Your New Neighbors Aren't Assholes." Most housewarming candles wish people well; this one is honest about the odds.

Hand poured from natural soy wax — plant based, renewable, non-toxic — in Golden Patchouli. 13.5 oz and 60+ hours. Move-in day, welcome drop-offs, and the friend who bought a house sight unseen.

Why You'll Love It

  • "Hope Your New Neighbors Aren't Assholes" — solidarity, printed on a kraft label
  • Natural soy wax — plant based, renewable, free of petroleum wax
  • Phthalate free and non-toxic — vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO
  • Golden Patchouli: patchouli, orange, mango and goji berry
  • 60+ hours from a 13.5 oz jar, so it outlasts the unpacking
  • Reusable glass jar — pens, plant cuttings, spare change
  • Hand poured in Minnetonka, Minnesota — made in the USA

Perfect Gift For

Move-in days, new neighbors, housewarmings, first homes, rental upgrades, holiday exchanges on the block, and anyone still waiting to learn who lives on the other side of that wall.

Product Details

  • Material: Natural Soy Wax, Essential and Premium Fragrance Oils, Cotton Wick, Reusable Jar
  • Size: 13.5 oz Jar | 3.5 x 3.5 x 4" 60+ Hours
  • Attributes: Phthalate Free, Non-Toxic, Cruelty Free, Vegan, Non-GMO
  • Origin: Hand Poured in Minnetonka, MN, Made in USA
  • Care: Trim the wick to 1/4" before each burn
  • Item: S-1057-4

Scent

4. Golden Patchouli - Patchouli, Orange, Mango & Goji Berry

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What is a good welcome gift for new neighbors?
A: A funny candle works as a welcome gift because it needs no shared history and no inside joke. Hand it over on move-in day, when the kitchen is still on the floor.

Q: What makes a candle eco friendly?
A: Soy wax comes from a renewable crop and burns without the petroleum base that paraffin needs. This one adds a cotton wick, phthalate-free oils, and a glass jar worth keeping.

Q: What does Golden Patchouli smell like?
A: Golden Patchouli is warm and earthy with a bright fruit top — patchouli underneath orange, mango and goji berry. It suits people who like incense but want it softened.

Q: Should I trim the wick before every burn?
A: Yes, trim the wick to 1/4" before every light. A short wick keeps the flame low and even, which stops soot on the glass and lets the fragrance read cleanly.

Q: What state are these soy candles made in?
A: Minnesota. Every jar is hand poured in small batches in Minnetonka, just outside Minneapolis.

Q: Is this candle non-GMO?
A: Yes, it is non-GMO, along with vegan, cruelty free and phthalate free. The wax is natural soy and the wick is plain cotton.

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