It is a joke about trees. It is definitely a joke about trees. "I Like Them Real Thick And Sprucy" is for the friend who cannot hear a sentence about tree shopping without making that face across the lot.
Hand poured with 60+ hours of Balsam + Cedar. A tree-trimming party, a December exchange, an adults-only secret santa: this is the one.
Why You'll Love It
- "I Like Them Real Thick And Sprucy" — a punchline that survives being read to a room
- Signature White jar — a white-printed label on reusable glass
- Balsam + Cedar — Fraser fir, balsam and cedar, entirely on theme
- Natural soy wax — plant-based, a clean burn with no petroleum wax
- Phthalate free and non-toxic — vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO
- A 13.5 oz jar with 60+ hours, lasting longer than the tree will
- Hand poured in small batches in Minnetonka, Minnesota — made in the USA
Perfect Gift For
A tree-trimming party, an adults-only exchange, secret santa, a hostess with a sense of humour, someone who has everything, and the friend who ruins every tree lot.
Product Details
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Material: Natural Soy Wax, Essential and Premium Fragrance Oils, Cotton Wick, Reusable Jar
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Size: 13.5 oz Jar | 3.5 x 3.5 x 4" 60+ Hours
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Attributes: Phthalate Free, Non-Toxic, Cruelty Free, Vegan, Non-GMO
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Origin: Hand Poured in Minnetonka, MN, Made in USA
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Care: Trim the wick to 1/4" before each burn
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Item: SW-1991-15
Scent
15. Balsam + Cedar - Fraser Fir, Balsam & Cedar
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is the funniest candle to bring to an adults-only gift exchange?
A: A double entendre beats an inside joke at any exchange, because the whole room gets it at the same moment. This one hides behind an entirely legitimate tree opinion.
Q: How do I gift a double entendre without embarrassing anyone?
A: A line that also works literally gives everyone an exit, which is why tree jokes travel further than blunt ones. Anyone who wants to read it innocently can.
Q: What do you get someone who thinks they are impossible to shock?
A: Someone who claims nothing shocks them is best given something they will have to explain to a parent. The explaining is the gift.
Q: Does a pine scent work outside of December?
A: Fir and cedar reads as woodland rather than festive, so it carries happily through January and February. Plenty of people burn it year round.
Q: What should I bring to a tree-trimming party?
A: Bring the host something that matches the evening rather than another ornament for a full tree. A fir-scented candle fits the room and the occasion exactly.
Q: Is it safe to burn a candle near garland or greenery?
A: Keep a lit candle a safe distance from garland, dried greenery and anything paper, and never leave it unattended. A clear, stable surface is the right home for it.
