Christmas Candles - Jolliest Bunch Of Assholes Cranberry

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It is the line every family quotes at each other by the second day. "Jolliest Bunch Of Assholes This Side Of The Nuthouse" is what the group chat is already called, and now it goes on the table.

One of our non toxic candles, hand poured in the Signature Color jar with 60+ hours of Cranberry Christmas. White elephant, a work swap, a family that talks like this: this is the one.

Why You'll Love It

  • "Jolliest Bunch Of Assholes This Side Of The Nuthouse" — quoted in full on the jar
  • Natural soy wax — plant-based, clean and even, no petroleum wax
  • Non-toxic and phthalate free — vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO
  • Cranberry Christmas — tart cranberry, orange peel and brown sugar
  • A 13.5 oz jar with 60+ hours of it
  • Cotton wick with no lead core, for a steady flame first light to last
  • Hand poured in small batches in Minnetonka, Minnesota — made in the USA

Perfect Gift For

White elephant, a work swap, siblings, in-laws, the family group chat, coworkers with no filter, and the relative certain this listing is about someone else.

Product Details

  • Material: Natural Soy Wax, Essential and Premium Fragrance Oils, Cotton Wick, Reusable Jar
  • Size: 13.5 oz Jar | 3.5 x 3.5 x 4" 60+ Hours
  • Attributes: Phthalate Free, Non-Toxic, Cruelty Free, Vegan, Non-GMO
  • Origin: Hand Poured in Minnetonka, MN, Made in USA
  • Care: Trim the wick to 1/4" before each burn
  • Item: SC-1762-16

Scent

16. Cranberry Christmas - Tart Cranberry, Orange Peel & Brown Sugar

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What is the best white elephant gift for a family that swears at each other?
A: A candle printed with the family's own vocabulary wins a white elephant round outright, because somebody always insists it is about them. This one names everyone.

Q: Can I give a candle with a swear word on it to a coworker?
A: Give this to a coworker whose language you have already heard at the coffee machine, not to someone you have only emailed. The word is on the front of the jar.

Q: What do you give a neighbor who put up ten thousand lights?
A: Give the over-decorating neighbor something that acknowledges the effort without competing with it. A candle for the one room without a light-up reindeer does it.

Q: Where does a candle like this belong in the house?
A: The kitchen island or the bar cart, where people stand around and read things, is where a saying candle earns its keep. It is wasted in a bedroom.

Q: Is the empty jar worth keeping?
A: The jar is proper glass rather than a thin shell, so it is worth washing out and keeping. It ends up holding pens, matches, or the good chocolate.

Q: What makes these non toxic candles different from a cheap store candle?
A: These are poured from natural soy with phthalate-free oils and a cotton wick, where budget candles often use paraffin. Soy is plant-based and gives a cleaner burn.

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