Two words end a career and one sentence describes the next thirty years. "Officially Retired. Not My Problem Anymore" is what somebody says the first time a former colleague calls them with a question.
The Signature White version, poured with 60+ hours of Golden Patchouli. An early retirement, a last day, a phone finally going unanswered on a Monday: this is the one.
Why You'll Love It
- "Officially Retired. Not My Problem Anymore" — printed in full on the white label
- Signature White on clear glass, so it sits on a shelf without shouting
- Natural soy wax with a cotton wick — an even burn and no petroleum wax
- Phthalate free and non-toxic — vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO
- Golden Patchouli — patchouli, orange, mango and goji berry, warm rather than sweet
- 60+ hours in a 13.5 oz jar, enough to see out the first season of doing nothing
- Hand poured in small batches in Minnetonka, Minnesota — made in the USA
Perfect Gift For
Early retirements, last days, a redundancy that turned out to be a gift, a nurse leaving a ward, a teacher leaving a classroom, a leaving card, and whoever changed their voicemail on day one.
Product Details
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Material: Natural Soy Wax, Essential and Premium Fragrance Oils, Cotton Wick, Reusable Jar
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Size: 13.5 oz Jar | 3.5 x 3.5 x 4" 60+ Hours
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Attributes: Phthalate Free, Non-Toxic, Cruelty Free, Vegan, Non-GMO
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Origin: Hand Poured in Minnetonka, MN, Made in USA
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Care: Trim the wick to 1/4" before each burn
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Item: SW-2053-4
Scent
4. Golden Patchouli - Patchouli, Orange, Mango & Goji Berry
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What does "not my problem anymore" mean as a retirement joke?
A: It is the moment the phone rings about something from the old job and the answer is finally no. Anyone who has retired recognises the feeling before they finish reading the label.
Q: What is a good gift for someone taking early retirement?
A: Early retirement usually comes with a bit of defiance in it, so the gift can be funnier than a standard send-off would allow. Lean into the freedom rather than the years served.
Q: Is it safe to leave a candle burning while I am out of the room?
A: Never leave any lit candle unattended, and put it out before leaving the house or going to bed. Soy is more forgiving than paraffin, but the rule does not change.
Q: Which room suits a warm scent like this best?
A: A living room or a hallway, because a warm patchouli travels and does most of its work where people walk in. A closed bedroom wastes it.
Q: Is there any paraffin blended into the wax?
A: It is natural soy wax with essential and premium fragrance oils and a cotton wick, with no paraffin in it. That is what keeps the burn clean and the jar clear.
Q: How many hours will this candle actually burn?
A: 60+ hours from a 13.5 oz jar, based on burns of three to four hours at a time. Very short burns waste wax by tunnelling before the pool reaches the edge.
