Funny Candles - No Mortgage, No Boss, No Paycheck, 9 oz Jar

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Three things gone that nobody misses and one that everybody does. "Retired: No Mortgage, No Boss, No Worries, No Paycheck," on a clear 9 oz jar that fits in a coat pocket.

Hand poured with 45+ hours of Bamboo Forest. A desk drop, an office exchange, an add-on to a leaving card: this is the one.

Why You'll Love It

  • "Retired: No Mortgage, No Boss, No Worries, No Paycheck" — on a clear 9 oz jar
  • Natural soy wax — plant based, with an even burn and no petroleum wax
  • Phthalate free and non-toxic — vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO
  • Bamboo Forest — bamboo, cypress and cedar, clean and green
  • 45+ hours from a 9 oz jar, the smaller of the two sizes
  • 3.5" tall, so it suits a bedside table or a bathroom windowsill
  • Hand poured in small batches in Minnetonka, Minnesota — made in the USA

Perfect Gift For

Desk drops, office exchanges, a leaving card that needed something alongside it, a colleague retiring from another team, a small home, a thank you, and whoever announced it on a group email.

Product Details

  • Material: Natural Soy Wax, Essential and Premium Fragrance Oils, Cotton Wick, Reusable Jar
  • Size: 9 oz Jar | 2.75 x 2.75 x 3.5" 45+ Hours
  • Attributes: Phthalate Free, Non-Toxic, Cruelty Free, Vegan, Non-GMO
  • Origin: Hand Poured in Minnetonka, MN, Made in USA
  • Care: Trim the wick to 1/4" before each burn
  • Item: CW-2140-12

Scent

12. Bamboo Forest - Bamboo, Cypress & Cedar

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What is a good small gift for someone retiring from another department?
A: Something that acknowledges the milestone without implying a closeness you do not have is exactly right, and a 9 oz jar with a joke on it does that. It is friendly rather than familiar.

Q: Will a 9 oz jar fit into a gift bag with a card?
A: At 2.75" across and 3.5" tall it drops into almost any bag alongside a card with room left over. It is the size chosen when the whole thing has to be carried on a commute.

Q: How long does the smaller jar burn?
A: 45+ hours, which is most of a winter for somebody lighting one a few evenings a week. Three-hour burns get the most out of it.

Q: Is soy wax vegan?
A: Soy wax is plant based, and this candle is vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO with no beeswax or animal-derived ingredients. The wick is plain cotton.

Q: Who actually makes these?
A: Cedar Crate Market pours them by hand in Minnetonka, Minnesota, in small batches. The whole process happens in the USA.

Q: How do I get the label off if I want to reuse the glass?
A: Soak the empty jar in warm soapy water for twenty minutes and the label lifts away, with any residue coming off with a little oil. The glass underneath is plain and clear.

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