Every retired person eventually delivers this line, usually to somebody still working, usually with a grin. "Retirement: The Pay Sucks, But The Hours Are Really Good" is the whole trade-off in one sentence.
Hand poured in the Signature Kraft jar with 60+ hours of Bamboo Forest. A retirement lunch, a final Friday, a first pension payment landing: this is the one.
Why You'll Love It
- "Retirement: The Pay Sucks, But The Hours Are Really Good" — printed on kraft paper
- 100% soy wax — plant based, with a clean, even burn and no petroleum wax
- Phthalate free and non-toxic — vegan, cruelty free and non-GMO
- Bamboo Forest — bamboo, cypress and cedar, a genuinely unisex scent
- 60+ hours in a 13.5 oz jar, still burning long after the party
- Natural kraft label on reusable glass, plain enough to leave out year round
- Hand poured in small batches in Minnetonka, Minnesota — made in the USA
Perfect Gift For
Retirement lunches, a final Friday, a whole-office collection, an uncle, a colleague of fifteen years, a card that needed something with it, and whoever has already told you this joke twice.
Product Details
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Material: 100% Soy Wax, Essential and Premium Fragrance Oils, Cotton Wick, Reusable Jar
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Size: 13.5 oz Jar | 3.375" x 4.25" 60+ Hours
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Attributes: Phthalate Free, Non-Toxic, Cruelty Free, Vegan, Non-GMO
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Origin: Hand Poured in Minnetonka, MN, Made in USA
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Care: Trim the wick to 1/4" before each burn
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Item: S-2138-12
Scent
12. Bamboo Forest - Bamboo, Cypress & Cedar
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What should I write in a funny retirement card?
A: One line about how much better their week now looks than yours does more than a paragraph of good wishes. Envy, cheerfully admitted, is the funniest register available.
Q: Is a joke about pension money risky as a gift?
A: A joke about having time rather than money is safe, because the person chose the trade and is usually delighted with it. Anything that sounds like a comment on their finances is not.
Q: Is this scent one that both men and women like?
A: Bamboo, cypress and cedar is the most reliably unisex scent on the shelf, with no floral and no vanilla in it. It is the one to pick when the gift is going to a couple.
Q: How long will a 13.5 oz candle last in daily use?
A: At an hour or two a night, 60+ hours works out at roughly two months. Somebody who lights one twice a week will get most of a year out of it.
Q: Does the kraft label make the candle look homemade?
A: It looks small batch rather than homemade — printed on natural paper with plain type, which is a deliberate look rather than a shortcut. The glass and the pour are the same as every other jar.
Q: Are these poured by hand or by machine?
A: By hand, in Minnetonka, Minnesota, in batches small enough to be checked individually. That is where the consistency between jars comes from.
